What it is
A boundary is a limit you impose on yourself, a matter of self-respect. Force is how you deliver it: heat, finality, scorched earth. They’re two different things, and treating them as one is how a reasonable limit turns into a war.
The short version: don’t mix up necessity with intensity. A boundary can be completely necessary and still be delivered gently.
How it shows up for me
I treated boundaries and emotional force as the same thing for years. If a limit mattered, I thought it had to come with fire. I can apply my boundaries with proportionate force, or not, but then I live with the consequences.