What it is
Parentification is a collapse of roles in a family: a child takes on responsibilities that don’t fit their age and starts doing a parent’s job. Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy and Geraldine Spark first defined it in 1973, from family systems theory.
It can be practical (raising younger siblings, running the house) or emotional (being a parent’s confidant, keeping the peace). Some researchers count it as a form of neglect. It can also leave real strengths behind, which is part of why it’s hard to see.
How it shows up for me
The person who finally told me to get help was a teenager, a kid who shouldn’t have had to carry that. It still humbles me. I try hard now to keep the adult jobs in my house with the adults.