What it is
Attachment theory says our first bonds, usually with parents, leave us with internal working models: mental maps of whether people are safe, whether we’re worth caring for, and what to do when we’re upset. Researchers describe styles such as secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganized.
These aren’t life sentences. They’re starting points, and they’re passed down. Patterns we never chose tend to repeat across generations until somebody notices them.
How it shows up for me
I think about it most as a parent. I can’t give my kids a perfect childhood, but I can try to be predictable, warm and present, even from far away. A daily video call can build security, too.
It also helps me be kinder about my own patterns. Knowing where something came from doesn’t excuse it, but it makes it easier to change.